I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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