Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
