absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
