forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
