This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
