I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize