Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize
