WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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