He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
