I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We have started to decorate penises.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
