He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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