Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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