you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
