You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Randomize
