And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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