i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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