Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize