dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
