i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
