Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
