I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just found puke in my bra..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
