gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
