why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
