theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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