the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he puts the penis in happiness.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
