Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
