there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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