Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
