Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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