things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
