I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
two words: eviction party
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
