there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
