$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize