i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
