i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
