You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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