i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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