We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
