I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
