Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
