Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
