i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
