her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
