grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
