Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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