Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
