but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
