Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize