You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Pooping to opera.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize