Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
