Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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