Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
