Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize