She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
