Umm I'm too high to move.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think people are normalizing furries
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