I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
