Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
