mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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